If I knew I would have listened. Not to the fears but to the people that spoke about it. But I did not realize that I needed to listen. Before I could listen to them I needed to listen to me, listen to the things that  made me shiver because it wasn’t wrong to feel like that; it was  wrong to stay like that.

So I buried it. Deep down where nobody could see it, not even myself. But we all know when we plant some seeds we won’t see the results immediately; however, sooner that later, the evidence of the plant will slowly start emerging and the only way to get rid of it is to dig deep and uproot the entire plant.

Well, that is what I had to do. After learning to listen to myself; something that no one taught me. Something that I never thought about because we are encouraged not to think about these things. But thank God for the Holy Spirit who is the perfect teacher and will work in our lives as long as we let Him in. As long as we invite Him to lead and we follow. He taught me how to listen, how to search inside and be uncomfortable because that’s the only way I got to grow and create more room for Him  to continue working in me.


Only then did I understand why people write and talk about this. The emphasis is as a result  of  necessity. I found out I can create a pit hole for myself without even realizing it. The fear of other peoples opinion cuts off or delays one’s destiny. Until we realize that our lives are controlled by the Holy spirit and others will always come and go, we’ll make crippling decisions that please the masses instead of taking care of our destinies. Only when I truly had this dwelling in my heart did I realize that my vision was clouded and I had no clue; because I didn’t take time to close and wipe my eyes.

Let’s close our eyes today. Look and search deep; not to be afraid but to recognize what’s wrong and correct it-wipe our eyes. Let’s break free from the fear of other people, only we can make that decision for ourselves. No one should live in bondage or fear of what X and Y will say; not even about your mistakes because your mistakes are a focal point of your growth. This is not to negate the fact that God does speak to us through other people but to establish that we should never live in fear! After all “others” is always changing, it’s a different group in different seasons of your life. But God will never leave us nor forsake us!

2nd Tim 1:7

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.


MY 2017

I moved out of comfort into risk. Honestly, I wish I had done this earlier. I walked into an unventured zone that looked like it had chaff in the air but I didn’t realize the little particles of chaff were butterflies that hadn’t blossomed yet and it would take faith to see the butterflies instead of the chaff.

I settled in my heart that God’s promises were real. That obstacles and arrows were part of the journey because the gift in me had to be sharpened and this process is not always pretty. Though it looked like a disadvantage to me, it was a focal point of growth.

I heard the opinions but listened to God; and once again, the two contradicted. I heard words of faith that grew in me and matured in me . I’m not perfect, nowhere close. He is still working on me and though that feels uncomfortable most times, I love it. I realized that the moment I stop thinking that He’s working on me pride will be checking in and I’ll need to back up.

I found blessings hidden in rugs. I found gold covered in the grass. I found friends in unlikely situations and realized when friendship is orchestrated by God & purpose, time is just a number. I found love right in front of me. The wax in my ears melted and I now hear him sincerely calling me as he calls unto the Lord and pursues Him.


I realized that being God’s fragrance can be literal. 2 Corinthians 2:14-16 Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. It’s possible to walk into a room and change the atmosphere because of whose presence you carry sometimes without saying a word.

God is still walking with me on the journey of vulnerability. Airing the scars because they are beautiful at his feet. They’re purposeful when encouraging others. Realizing that my struggles can be my seed and grounds for God to reveal Himself. I found uncommon favor. I lost things I thought would last forever but I’m grateful. I realized I’m blessed to have a closely knit family where we seek God together and stick together like glue.

I laughed my heart out and I loved it. I wanted to write more, pray more, manage my time better but all in all, I’m grateful to my daddy in heaven.

How was your 2017?

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