Lately, I have become so aware of mortality. Yes, death is really the blunt way to say that. We die. We all do. Before my church aunties come for me, let me clarify this. What I mean is the body will at one point stop performing the normal body functions; I am not talking about the Spirit man. We can get a bit technical with these terms but I’ll keep it simple in this series.

I know this is a sensitive topic since many people have lost loved ones through the COVID season. But it’s real.

So many reasons make mortality real to me. Maybe it’s watching Grey’s Anatomy or maybe it’s reading the late Paul Kalanithi’s book – ‘When breath becomes air’. Or maybe it’s empathizing with my friends who’ve lost loved ones. Maybe it’s receiving some material things that I did not have growing up and still realizing, it’s fleeting. All of it. Everything on this earth will only help us enjoy life down here but once the body gives in to death, that’s it. It doesn’t matter anymore.

As a Christian, mortality then awakens the hunger for purpose within me. We all know that material things are fleeting but aren’t we the same people that preach the prosperity gospel? Don’t get me wrong, I am not in any way bushing wealth and material resources. But I am bushing it when it becomes the primary focus.

Yeah, I am going to die one day, and so are you. So, are you living out what God has created you to live out? Are you bringing His will here on earth? Or do you simply get up, secure your bag, have a good time and move on to the next day?

Mortality coupled with purpose makes me wanna be aligned more than anything else. Makes me want to be at the right place at the right time. Because God’s depending on me to do that and shift things down here for Him.

Are you where you ought to be? Are you with whomever you ought to be with? Are your interactions purposeful? Have you been spreading the good news or are you too scared to speak out? Are getting sucked up in pop culture and finding cool yet you’re losing God?

It’s a bunch of things I plan on writing about in this mortality topic that we have started today so indulge me friends.

Ecclesiastes 9:5

For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing, and they have no more reward, for the memory of them is forgotten.


1 Kings 1:3

God was pleased with Solomon

Because he did not ask for wealth or a long life, he asked for wisdom

His requests were in line with God’s specific purpose for his life

He was called to be a King

He was appointed to rule over the nations

He was God’s choice and he allowed God to use him in that way

When He asked for wisdom, it was so he could accomplish God’s plan for his life

My guess is: Had he been in the army, he would have asked for insight and strength

Had he been a businessman, he would have asked God for business tips and great managing skills

What is my purpose and does my request match up to God’s purpose?

To be rightfully aligned is to desire what God has created me to do

Like Solomon, I pray that my eyes will be open

I pray that I will be rightfully aligned

So that my desires and requests will match up to God’s purpose for me

It could be strength, resilience, trading tips, mother instincts, problem solving skills, long suffering or wisdom

None is greater than the other

It is simply a question of being rightfully aligned.


Dear Lord, let me be rightfully aligned so that I can desire in line with your purpose for me. Let me be so aware and awakened to purpose that destructions of the world do not alter my vision or my heart.

Allow me, Lord to see what you see.

Allow me to hear what you hear.

Allow me to walk where you walk.

And let me desire to be where you are.

In line with your will and purpose for me.


The Cross Cuts Both Ways

The Cross

The cross is about connection

Connection vertically and horizontally

There is no existence without the perfect connection.

Connection to God who sent us His only son to save us

Connection to Jesus who was nailed to that cross for us

Connection to the Holy Spirit who either lives in us or is knocking on our hearts longing for the opportunity to find a home in us.

Then there’s the other part, connection horizontally…

Connection to the world

The saved and unsaved

Cultured and uncultured

Connection to mankind

That brings hope, peace and assurance

The warm hug that covers all men in spite of.

Connection that causes us to find the orphans, widows, servants and have a genuine moment with them

Connection that draws our hearts to kings and presidents

The cross cuts both ways – vertically and horizontally…

Loving, serving and giving ourselves to people

Yet surrendering and sipping God’s goodness at His feet

The cross cuts both ways.

That’s the beauty of the cross.


Hey reader. I decided to let you into my journal. God has been wrecking my heart, showing me how alive I am (which isn’t a good thing); showing me how I need to give Him way in my life so He can move through me. We had a little moment and I tried to pen that moment. I pray this moves something in you. I pray that this awakens the desire to give everything up for God. Amidst this dark phase the world is going through, I hope we can all get a glimpse of God’s perspective.

I wanna die

I wanna exchange my breath for yours

I wanna strip off every form of me

I just don’t know how.

Beyond the prayers

Beyond the fasting

Beyond evangelism and mentorship

I wanna own the grave

I wanna be comfortable in the grave

I wanna live, breath and exist 6 feet under

Where my rights and breath don’t exist

I wanna die

So you can live in me

Life wholly, fully, completely in me

Maybe I understand surrender

Maybe I can sniff death

But I wanna desire death

Death of me, All of me

So all of you can take over

The prize of all of God is all of me,” – Joshua Selman

Galatians 2:20 (TPT)

My old identity has been co-crucified with Messiah and no longer lives; for the nails of the cross crucified me with him. And now, the essence of this new life is no longer mine, for the Anointed one lives His life through me-we live in union as one! My new life is empowered by the faith of the son of God who loves me so much that He gave Himself for me and dispenses His life into mine!

Show me how to die

So all of you can live

Die to the pleasures of this world

Die to the flesh

Die to my desires

Die to my passion and calling

Only for you

All for you.

Stay in the Fire

1 Corinthians 3:12-14 The Passion Translation

12–13 The quality of materials used by anyone building on this foundation will soon be made apparent, whether it has been built with gold, silver, and costly stones, or wood, hay, and straw. Their work will soon become evident, for the Day will make it clear, because it will be revealed by blazing fire! And the fire will test and prove the workmanship of each builder. 14 If his work stands the test of fire, he will be rewarded. 

What substance am I made of?Is it clay or sand? Is it stone or mud? Is it brick or wood?

Our substance is cultivated over a long period of time, through different seasons and trials that may be only known to few.  When situations strike and it looks like they will knock us out but we stay in the boxing court till the fight is over. That in itself is a win, that’s part of the glory.

This scripture has been and continues to be very alive in my life. I have to constantly remind myself of this when I get the blows from this world. Usually, foundation can be tested by a tremor or earthquake. If it withstands the tremor, it’s good. But if it withstands the earthquake, then it is excellent quality, was mixed in the right ratios and laid down to precision.

That hard season, that tough time, those tears and emotions that no one sees, don’t allow it to take you out. Flow with Him and His glow will soon show on you. The fire has got to test the workmanship. Let’s allow ourselves to go through the fire knowing He that’s in us is greater than the world and is not knocked down by fire. 


Blazing fire doesn’t just burn, it consumes.  Let it consume all of me till all that’s left is the perfect vessel, the perfect workmanship. Often times we ask God to set us on fire for Him but we don’r realize that the fire will first burn everything that’s unlike Him causing us to ache and desire Him all at the same time.

Don’t quit friend. Build the relationship, stay in the fire and let your workmanship be proven.


Father, I desire to be more like you and I thank you that even when the fire burns you’re right with me. The fire will not take me out but will build intimacy between me and you so much so that all I want to do is be at your feet. I want you as my reward and I thank you for giving me you. I love you father. In Jesus name, Amen!

Fearless Woman

The kind that’s weak enough to cry

Wobbly enough to fall on God’s shoulders

Open to exposing her wounds

To the father and the world

Ready to reach down to find existing wounds

That haven’t become scars yet

Acknowledging that she’s got some shame

Putting her shame at His feet

Remembering the insecurities

Bringing back the tears

Wrecked and damaged

Hurt and broken

Covered and under

Stretched and torn


Fearless Woman

Life, Life, Life, Still alive!

Still can blossom

Can still walk above circumstances

Can take some scars

Because she’s allowed the wounds to be healed

Can talk about the shame

Coz she’s left it at Jesus’s feet

Can walk again, live again, breath again

Coz she’s carried by her father

Walking with a clean title

Because the wreck was cleaned out

Free from the pain because the hurt was wiped out by endless love

Restored and whole because her capacity was increased

Above only and never beneath!

Coz God’s holding her hand.


Fearless Woman.


2nd Corinthians 3:18

We can all draw close to him with the veil removed from our faces. And with no veil we all become like mirrors who brightly reflect the glory of the Lord Jesus. We are being transfigured into his very image as we move from one brighter level of glory to another. And this glorious transfiguration comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Do I sometimes refuse to let go of the veil?

Because the danger of being exposed sounds more risky than the comfort zone.

It looks like the veil covers me

It feels like the veil shields me

I am familiar with the consequences of the veil

I may not like them but I know how to deal with them

I don’t wanna look in the mirror because I’m scared of what I’ll see

I wanna live in the euphoria of the veil

I don’t want to see the raw me

I don’t want to face the insecurities

I really don’t wanna know where I am right now

I’m fine living in the comfort of the veil

Where I feel like nothing is wrong


And when something goes wrong I know how to fix it coz I am way too familiar with this

It’s a self-inflicted veil

A veil that keeps me from progressing

I don’t need to give credit to the devil for stagnation because I’m pretty good at his job

I’m holding onto the veil

What I don’t know is that the mirror shows me who God is

Because that’s really who I am in Him

Christ IN ME

If only I can let go of the veil

And do that thing James talks about in James 1

Look in the mirror and see freedom

Look in the mirror and see love

Look I the mirror and see perfection because that’s who I am in Christ

I just need to let go of the veil

Trust in Christ and let go of the veil because the fear is an illusion keeping me from experiencing God in totality.

Let go of the veil…


Genesis 4:13-14

Cain said to the Lord, my punishment is more than I can bear. “Behold, You have driven me this day from the face of the ground; and from Your face I will be hidden, and I will be a vagrant and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me.”…

I am  the Cain that falls short of God’s plan, sometimes moves in man’s wisdom instead of God’s wisdom. I am the Cain that sometimes gives God the good instead of the best forgetting that everything belongs to Him. I see Cain over and over. Cain in the little lie yesterday or the cover up today and the lack of faith tomorrow. Every time I fall short of what God has intended for me, I see Cain.


But look at His comeback. Look at his response to his punishment. The tone of the text suggests that he was saddened by the fact that he would be away from God’s presence. The sin was awful but the punishment was unfathomable to him. He may have realized that he made a huge mistake.

What’s most interesting is that he did not want to be away from God’s presence. He wanted to stay right in His bosom even with his brother’s blood in his hands. How many of us run to God after doing wrong?

I want to be a Cain especially in this area. I shouldn’t run from God in times of failure but run to God! That’s the Cain kind of victory.

Victory that says no matter what I did, no matter what I think of the pit that I may have put myself in, I will run to God’s presence. Not only will I find grace but I will be covered in so much love that the desire to sin will soon be a thing of the past. We want more Cains in the church. We want to crave God’s presence so much so that when we run away from it we can’t help but crawl right back in.

Yes, I want to be the Cain!

I want to have the kind of hands that crave for the Messiah because though they are bloody, they still belong to him.


The sin, the dullest, darkest, most hidden is won’t send Him away…

Only when drowned in darkness do you scream for the light.

Every time they hit Him, they thought that they were 1 second closer to His defeat.

Every snare and foul word propelled Him to the next level. To them, it was death; to Him was salvation.

All the pounds on that cross, weren’t as heavy as our sins. The weight was another form of suffering. However, it was another step into redemption.



The yelling, shouting, mistreatment. That was meant to be me. That was my weight, my poverty, my sin, my sickness, disease and lack of peace. Yet He went through this and much more. His motivation was my soul. They thought they were knocking Him out little did they know that they were starting His army.

He had a choice: To go to the cross and indulge in the pain or to give up. He chose the pain because He had the end in mind. He had me in mind. Salvation, redemption.

What manner of love and commitment!

Stepped down for Mary who’d committed adultery. He held her hand and took her weight off of her. The sin was an attraction to Him. Revealed the need for a savior.

Stepped down for Peter. When he started sinking on the water, Jesus held his hand and pulled him up. He went down to Peter’s level but He didn’t leave him there. He brought him to the Victory corner.

Went to the tomb for Lazarus. Where it was stinking, where death had pierced people’s hearts. Yet he walked in and shone a ray of life.

He is not too far from what looks like the darkest pit. As a matter of fact, he walks right into it to restore my soul; your soul.


Thank you father that you are never too far away. You’re always there when I call. Available in the depths of trouble and darkness. And I’m never too far gone. My loved ones are never too far gone. You’re able to get to them right where they’re at. Amen!



1 Samuel 3:1-4

Now the boy Samuel ministered to the Lord before Eli. And the word of the Lord was rare in those days; there was no widespread revelation. And it came to pass at that time, while Eli was lying down in his place, and when his eyes had begun to grow so dim that he could not see,and before the lamp of God went out in the tabernacle of the Lord where the ark of God was, and while Samuel was lying down, that the Lord called Samuel. And he answered, “Here I am!”

Before Samuel was called, he was available to be used by God; even in his boy stage. His availability led to maturity. I believe God had strategically placed Eli in his life so that Eli would pass down some kingdom secrets to the next generation. When Eli’s eyes grew dim, there was an heir who’s eyes were bright; and who was available for God’s purpose. I believe Samuel’s eyes could not only see better in the natural realm but the spiritual realm as well. He had been in God’s presence long enough to see what God sees and to be able to mirror that to the world. Am I available or am I waiting for a destination in order to be available? Availability is what will lead me to the maturity destination!


Even as a child, Samuel was totally dedicated to the Lord. He served in his ‘boy’ stage. Before the business is fruitful, before the marriage yields the desired results, before the family members have an encounter with the Lord, serve Him. What’s your “boy” stage and are you serving while still in it? Availability in the season breeds maturity.

Eli’s eyes were fading out. He was aging and Samuel was strategically placed at the place of service where he shone God’s bright light when Eli’s was fading off. His intention was to serve God in his present state; despite of his age or his situation. I’m I fully devoted to serving and responding in obedience?

I’m I quick to move in obedience like Samuel was when God called him? Or do I have excuses as to why I cannot fully commit? Is the ‘child stage’ robbing me of 100% commitment in anticipation for the maturity stage?


Lord, I will serve you regardless of what stage I’m in. I will be quick to move in obedience when you speak. I submit to the authority that you have put over me and I desire to serve and fall more in love with you. Amen!